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Three Kinds of Men . . . Which Did You Marry?

(An exert from the book, “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debi Pearl)

Men are not all the same. I have become aware that there are basically three types of men. The different types are just as marked in one-year-olds as they are in adult men. It seems that God made each male to express one side of his triad nature . No single man completely expresses the well-rounded image of God. If a man were all three types at the same time, he would be the perfect man , but I have never met, heard of, or read in a book of history or fiction of a man who is the proper balance of all three. Certainly Jesus was the perfect balance. Most men are a little of all three, but tend to be dominant in one. And all the training and experiences of life will never successfully make a man into a different type of man. There is nothing clumsier and more pathetic than a man trying to act differently from who he is. As we review the types, you will probably readily identify your husband and be able to see where you have been a curse or a blessing to him.

By the time a young woman gets married, she has developed a composite image of what her husband ought to be like. The men she has known and the characters in books and movies provide each woman with a concept of the perfect man. Poor guys! Our preconceived ideas make it tough on them. They are never perfect —far from it. God gave each one a nature that in part is like himself, but never complete. When you add in the factor that all men are fallen creatures, it makes a girl wonder why she would ever want to tie her life to one of these sons of Adam. But God made us ladies to have this unreasonable desire to be needed by a man, and our hormones are working strenuously to bring us together.

If you fight his inadequacies, both of you will fail. If you love him and support him with his inadequacies and without taking charge, both of you will succeed and grow.

When a girl suddenly finds herself permanently wed to a man who is not like she thinks he ought to be, rather than adapt to him, she usually spends the rest of their marriage —which may not be very long— trying to change him into what she thinks her man ought to be. Most young girls are married only a short time when they make the awful discovery that they may have gotten a lemon. Rather than bemoan your “fate,” ask God for wisdom.

Key -- Wisdom is knowing what you “bought” when you married that man,

and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be.

Men are not alike. Your husband most likely will not be like your father or brother or the man in your favorite romance novel. Our husbands are created in the image of God, and it takes all kinds of men to even come close to completing that image. No man is a perfect balance; if he were, he would be too divine to need you. God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so they can be heirs together of the grace of life and become something more together than either one of them would ever be alone. If you fight your husband’s inadequacies or seek to be dominant where he is not, both of you will fail. If you love him and support him with his inadequacies and without taking charge, both of you will succeed and grow.

God is dominant—a sovereign and all-powerful God. He is also visionary—omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady—the same yesterday, and today, and forever, our faithful High Priest. Most men epitomize one of these three aspects of God.

Which Man Are You Married To?

Mr. Command

Mr. Visionary

Mr. Steady

Keep in mind that most men are a little of all three types,

but tend to be stronger in one.